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When Nuns Fight

  • bridgittethum
  • Apr 14, 2015
  • 2 min read

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Ladies and Gentlemen! We have quite an event for you tonight folks. The Sisters of Merciful Benevolence are raising money for a new podium. These righteous Babes have been training for weeks at Buddy's bar and gym. They are itching for a fight, and it's not just becuase they are super sweaty under all that black wool and white linen. It's time to unleash the inner rage hidden deep inside these pugilistic ladies of grace.

Are YOU Ready to Rumble? Let's get ready to RUMBLE!

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And who do we have in the ring tonight Hal? Who will win the chastity belt?

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Well For starters There is Sister Bloody Mary, She's not wearing boxing gloves, and so It raises some questions. I'm guessing it's just some sort of unconventional fighting style. Judging by the wine stains on her teeth and lips, I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that Bloody Mary may be, well drunk.

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And who's is the Ref tonight George? Oh she's a tough one all right Sister Abbey Normal, a dedicated referee and nun fight promoter who has raised enough money in her career to purchase maybe 50 pews and a desk, and a new blender for the church kitchen. She is all business Hal. Let's listen in as she talks to the fighters.

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LISTEN UP! I want to see an immaculate fight! That means clean hits. Listen Sisters, when I say break I mean BREAK! No whammies, whoppers or wimple biting. Protect yourself at all times, Touch gloves and come out at the mission bell.

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Hey Hal, would ya get a load of those nun chucks?

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The fight is on! But something is off.

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Bloody Mary's bare fists have yet to attempt a blow or a swing. Is it possible George that, dare I say it? Is it possible that she's not wearing gloves because she doesn't want to fight?

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Can She do that? Is this happening? The people paid to see a fight. I'm confused, are you telling me that nuns have free will? Is this happening?

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Sister Abbey has called a Time out.

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She appears to be reading from the bible.

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Now she is telling a special secret to Bloody Mary? Is it something from the Bible?

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Bloody Mary Looks a little intimidating right now Hal. I'm a little bit scared, will you hold me?

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OUCH!

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OH Dang. This just got really real.


 
 
 

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I am Bridgitte Thum. I have lots of things to do before I am done.

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