Lonely Hearts Club

Dear Bridgitte,

My son plays video games all day.

His attention span has suffered. I tell him he needs to focus so that he can finish high school and get a job. His Birthday is coming up and I refuse to buy him any more video games. What should I do?

Crabby Mammy in Toledo

Dear Crabby,

Actually, let's think about this for a second. What do you want your son to do?

Get a good job?

Do you want him to grow up and be a surgeon?

Because there is this game called Surgeon Simulator.

It's really amazing.

Kids can get virtual hands-on practice doing an actual appendectomy or heart transplant. This is like Pre Pre-Med. From here maybe he can move on to surgery on household pets, or a younger, weaker sibling.

You should reconsider the benefits of video games. They have come a very very long way since your old school dumb joys sticks and pong pongs. I say buy the kid MORE video games.

Buy him the store for his birthday!

It's kind of like when you catch your kid smoking, and then make him smoke the whole pack of ciggarettes until he pukes.

Tough LOVE!

Happy Birthday!